Various Storms and Saints

Ever hear a song that makes you feel it all? While I was taking down my Christmas tree down yesterday itt felt very quiet in my apartment - too quiet. I decided I needed music. I put Spotify on and played my 2017 most played list. The first song that played was from Florence + Machine's latest album. It was a particularly emotional song - as many of her songs are - and I felt a bit overcome. This is common for me, especially during the post-holiday lull. Instead of skipping the track, I just let it sink in. Sometimes you have to get let yourself feel things before you can move on.

I put it on a different playlist after that.

Dealing with mild depression and anxiety isn't about trying to put a lid on your feelings - but understand where they're coming from. A minor breakdown over a song isn't a setback, but rather a reminder that I'm human.

So, how did my first week of 2018 go? It went forward and backwards. That is to be expected. I did, however, manage to fit in a few moments of self-care.

For starters, I got a copy of a book my doctor recommended - Mind Over Mood. It's a workbook, really. The chapters all end with exercises that you're supposed to do. It's sort of an at-home version of therapy. I read the beginning so far. It suggests you take your time with the book...to really absorb it and practice the lessons. I also started the Giller prize winning novel Bellevue Square by Michael Redhill. These are obviously two very different books, but they both soothe my soul. I believe that both reading to learn and reading to escape are equally beneficial. Everyone should give themselves at least 30 minutes of quiet reading time each day.

Pinterest has been the source of many of my self-care suggestions. One pin I came across was the yoga pose where you lay flat on your back with your legs flush against the wall. It's not easy. It's supposed to be a restorative - allowing your heart to rest. I'm willing to try anything, so I did it. Jury is out on whether or not it worked. Maybe I'll try it again.

Another Pinterest list suggestion was to do something creative. My aunt gave me a needle felting kit for Christmas to make a little sheep. So yesterday, before taking down my tree, I sat down and worked on it. It didn't turn out perfect, but the process of making something with my own hands was nice. I need to work on doing more of that.

Friday night I went for a few pints and dinner with a friend of mine from university. Self-care isn't just about meditating and putting your legs up on the wall to realign your aura of some shit - it's about doing things that make YOU feel good. Sometimes that means going out in the world and being social.

My weekend ended with my new mattress from Santa arriving. I'm very much so looking forward to a good night's rest.