This is 34.

Two day's ago I turned 34. It was low key, which I'm learning is the best way to have a birthday. This isn't to say I did nothing. But I also didn't have high expectations.

I did, however, feel the love from family, friends and co-workers.

Speaking of co-workers...this was my desk when I came into work on Thursday morning:

That was pretty cool. No one's every decorated my desk on my birthday before, so that was fun. It really improves your mood to work surrounded by balloons.

The problem I have had surrounding my birthday, and still face today, is a serious case of expectations vs. reality. Due to my anxiety and my inability to cope with change, I often get too psyched about my birthday plans, then consequently disappointed when it doesn't live up to the hype.

Past examples have been friends bailing last minute, boyfriends who forget and/or don't buy you a gift, weather not co-operating (as I type this, it's ice storming outside and I have a reservation for brunch tomorrow for nine people), and so on. I have a mild case of "it's my party, and I'll cry if I want to. I know it makes me seem bratty and entitled, but I think it's deeper than that. It's my desire for everything to work out. 

I rarely bring all my friends together because I am too concerned that it would be awkward because people wouldn't know each other. I worry too much about what other people will do, or how will they react and it cripples my ability to relax and have a good time.

Basically, the only thing I planned for my birthday this year was tomorrow's brunch. I did have a drink and some food with a co-worker after work on Thursday, but that was her suggestion. So, I do feel like I've lowered my expectations this year, yet I am still anxious about how this ice storm will effect my plans. Mother Nature is sabotaging me!

Maybe next year I just won't plan anything and just let the day pass me by...